I’m Femke, and I help people meet themselves as they are. I founded Wings of Awareness to support others on their journey — not toward perfection, but toward presence, compassion, and authenticity.

For a long time I didn’t know how to relate to myself — or to others. Growing up in a judgmental environment, I learned early on to adapt, agree, and smooth things over. Becoming a people pleaser felt like a way to stay safe, loved, and connected. I scanned how others were feeling and needing, took responsibility for their emotions, and quietly lost touch with my own. Fawning and freezing were familiar stress responses. Anger — my own or even the indirect anger in someone’s tone — made me shrink inside.

Over time, this came at a cost. I suppressed frustration and anger. My emotional boundaries blurred. My own needs and desires went unspoken, buried beneath the desire to keep the peace. What once kept me safe eventually became the very thing that disconnected me from myself.

In my thirties, discovering that I am a Highly Sensitive Person was a turning point. Suddenly so much made sense — the deep empathy, the overwhelm, the tendency to lose myself in relationships. I began to see that my sensitivity wasn’t a weakness as I had long believed, but a form of aliveness that had been misunderstood, even silenced.

Then, in 2009, at the age of 34, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. That experience changed everything. It taught me that life isn’t controllable — that it can shift in an instant — and it showed me what truly matters. I faced fear — my own, the fear of loved ones — and the unbearable waiting for test results, the operation, the chemotherapy, and the reconstruction. I was made sick by the treatments, yet through it all, I learned far more than I lost. I learned about resilience, presence, and the preciousness of life.

I was tired of the judgmental voices in my head — the incessant “shoulds,” “musts,” and self‑criticism. I wanted a way of relating that was loving and compassionate — to myself and to others. That’s when Nonviolent Communication entered my life. It taught me how to translate judgments – my own and others’ – into compassion. I learned to give myself and others empathy, to stop the endless self‑criticism, and to accept myself and others with more understanding and kindness. I began seeing others as human beings also trying to fulfill their needs — just like me, and my way of communicating changed radically.

Life kept inviting me to grow. I ran my first marathon in 2016, at 41. Crossing that finish line wasn’t just a race — it was a signal to myself that I could pursue what felt impossible. It opened the door to imagining a life I truly wanted, including leaving my home country, The Netherlands, to live and work in France — a dream I had carried for years.

I still live and work in France, though over the last eight years I’ve moved regions three times. At the moment, I am in a little mountain village called La Chapelle d’Abondance, where I work in hospitality. I know what it’s like to miss birthdays, to be far from loved ones and still feel deeply connected. I know what it’s like to long for the familiar joys of home. I also know what it’s like to struggle with communicating in a foreign language, to feel frustrated when not being able to express what wants to be expressed, to live with compromises, and still chosing to live where I am now, living in connection with nature.

In 2024, I discovered The Work of Byron Katie, which helped me question the stressful thoughts and beliefs I carried for decades. I was tired of believing everything my mind was telling me. Tired of the constant ruminating, of the endless mental loops and inner conversations, of the repeated stories in my head. I longed for more inner freedom, for more mental peace, for a way to meet my thoughts differently. I started exploring my inner world more profoundly by doing The Work on a daily basis. I found the process to be simple yet deeply transformative and life-changing. I began to relate to reality differently, to past situations with curiosity instead of resentment and blame, and smowly began to see the truth beneath the stories I had believed. One of my most difficult relationships began to change — the one with my mom. I started seeing past situations from a completely new angle. Old patterns that had kept me fawning, freezing, or staying silent slowly began to shift. I noticed my own responsibility more clearly and found the courage to speak up, to sepak my truth with gentleness and clarity. Moments that once felt heavy and painful started opening into understanding, compassion, and connection. It wasn’t instant — each small shift brought more presence, more clarity, and a growing sense of freedom in how we relate to each other.

In 2025, Radical Honesty came into my life and supported me in expressing myself even more authentically and courageously. Both The Work and Radical Honesty have been companions on the path back home — back to myself.

Alongside these practices, Parts Work, including Internal Family Systems (IFS), became a key part of my journey. I began meeting the different parts inside me — the fearful, the critical, the people-pleasing, the wounded — with curiosity and compassion. I learned that every part has a positive intention, even if it expresses itself in ways that cause struggle. By acknowledging and understanding these inner voices, I could create space for healing, integration, and authentic self-expression. Parts Work has deepened my capacity to relate to myself gently, and to support others in doing the same.

This journey continues, shaping how I live and how I work — with gentleness, awareness, and an open heart. I offer a supportive and compassionate space for others who feel a similar longing: to accept themselves more fully, to speak honestly, and to connect with life and others from greater presence and clarity. Not because I have it all figured out, but because I am walking this path myself, with honesty, curiosity, and care.

Nothing needs to be fixed. Everything belongs. When we begin to meet ourselves fully, life begins to shift — and we begin to live with more ease, depth, and connection.